The former Miss Spain winner and life coach discusses her new book and why she’s decided to carve a path of her own.
“It’s vital to have your own path,” says Lorena.
I’m chatting to her a week after her book launch, which took place on 25 April in London.
Despite appearing before me via a laptop screen, her warmth somehow pervades the room, and she chats to me with a relaxed ease — the type that comes easily to those from a beautiful European county that boasts frequent spells of hot weather. Us Londoners can’t relate.
She’s beaming as we discuss her book, It Starts with You, which Lorena describes as being “years in the making”.
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“I’ve always written down my thoughts and experiences throughout my life coaching journey,” she explains. “But one day I realised that my story could help others to achieve happiness and joy.”
In 2010, Lorena married Mikel Arteta, who currently helms one of the Premier League’s biggest clubs. While the Arsenal manager and former player for the club has spent his career striving for success on, and now off, the pitch, Lorena has similarly put her energy into carving a path of her own, which she identifies as being the cornerstone of a healthy relationship.
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“If we focus all our energy on only our relationships — without having a clear view of who we are and what our calling is — it becomes very difficult to have an authentic partnership,” she explains. “Both parties need an outlet for their talents, passions and their essence.”
And this is one of the key pillars of her book, which aims to inspire readers to see life from a new perspective, one that isn’t influenced by subjective experiences. But what is it, exactly, that separates Lorena’s self-help advice from that found in the flurry of other titles that adorn the non-fiction shelves and regularly top Amazon’s best sellers list?
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The truth is that the goal it sets resembles that found in most other life coaching books out there: achieving happiness, joy and fulfilment through the acceptance of love. It’s a tried and tested concept and isn’t one that would typically garner my interest, as I generally prefer to lose myself in a fictional tale that distracts me from my shortcomings rather than reminds me of them.
But Lorena separates herself from most other self-improvement gurus by weaving her own personal journey of growth into her teachings, and offers a philosophy born from real life rather than theory, or, as she says, “from the soul, rather than the body”.
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She also sets herself apart by admitting she’d never intended to publish her writings, and it’s this that catches my attention. “I find the exercise of putting my thoughts on paper very therapeutic, but I had never originally planned for anyone to read it. I did it because I find the process of writing beautiful.”
There are many pieces of work out there that weren’t written with the intent to be published, and while not all are winners, I’ve found that it can bring a certain level of authenticity to a book, to know that the author was originally speaking only unto themselves. It adds a personal layer of introspection and relatability, as though you’ve peaked into someone’s diary and found a symmetry between their life and yours.
But there’s another reason that Lorena’s journey piques my interest, and it feels like the elephant in the room.
She’s married to one of the most famous men in the Premier League, and I can’t help but wonder whether the fame and scrutiny that this entails has influenced her perspective on life.
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“Life is short, and it’s not worth it to not enjoy it,” she says. “It’s not worth it to waste time chasing some kind of trophy and racing to the finish line. The truth is that the finish line is the same for everyone, and it’s the journey that matters most.”
While Lorena’s philosophy may not ring true to the thousands of Arsenal fans hoping that Arteta will, in fact, lift a trophy in their lifetime, she does offer a refreshing take on what it means to have a life well lived.
