Three women share their story of misdiagnosis and misunderstanding while going through early menopause — from PCOS confusion to suspected early onset dementia.
By the age of 43, Cheney Hamilton had started numerous businesses, bought and sold a house, had three children — and had already been going through the perimenopause for six years.
“I had my youngest child when I was 37, and I felt like as soon as I had him, that’s when it all started. Obviously, you’ve got loads of hormonal activity going on when you’ve just had a baby, but I just knew I didn’t feel like myself. It was more than baby blues,” says County Durham-based Cheney.
Read more: Perimenopause vs menopause and everything you need to know about ‘the change’
As her grandmother started perimenopause around the same age, and Cheney felt familiar with the symptoms she was experiencing — like brain fog, hot flushes and low mood — she suspected she was following in her biological footsteps. It was when that low mood started to affect time with her family and the motivation she felt around her work running a flexible jobs board, that she knew it was time to take action.
With less than 1% of women starting menopause under the age of 40, Cheney had to see three GPs before she was correctly diagnosed as being perimenopausal, moving from the anti-depressants she was originally prescribed, to hormone replacement therapy (HRT).
While Cheney saw her mental health improve, it was the two stone weight gain that prompted her to assess whether HRT was right for her. Just last month she decided to stop HRT altogether and manage the perimenopause symptoms herself. She plays netball several times a week and has adopted a keto diet, known for being moderate in protein and high in fat but low in carbohydrates, as studies have shown it can help with weight loss and balance hormones. So far, so good.
“Now that I’m looking after my body better, I have to question whether we’re over-medicating. Do we always rely on a pill, or do we do more exercise to release the serotonin that’s a happy hormone and eat the food that supports our brains?” says Cheney.
‘Simply finding words in my brain is often really challenging’
HRT, however, has been successful for Carli Adby, a photographer based in Crondall, Hampshire, who’s now 41, but has been experiencing menopause symptoms since she was 36. It wasn’t initially clear that it was perimenopause, as Carli was also diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) in her 30s after experiencing heavy, erratic periods and evidence of a hormonal imbalance, such as increased sweatiness, spots and hair growth.
But other symptoms, like heightened migraines and increased fatigue, prompted Carli to do her own research and suspect she was in perimenopause. Like Cheney, she was dismissed by GPs as being too young — despite also having a family history of early menopause — and had to see several different doctors before she was prescribed HRT.
Read more: Menopause treatments to discuss with your doctor (from HRT to non-hormonal options)
While Carli’s symptoms are now stable — she’s postmenopausal, but this doesn’t mean symptoms end — she’s also had to make changes to her lifestyle. She’s introduced more protein to her diet as well as herbal supplements and has reduced the cardio workouts she used to do in favour of weightlifting.
Carli still feels her mental and physical capacity is not back to what it used to be — especially now that she also has low bone density — so she’s had to reduce the amount of photography work she takes on.
“Simply finding words in my brain is often really challenging and my sleep isn’t great. So, I’m trying to practise a more forgiving approach to myself. For a long time, it really pissed me off, and I thought that I needed to get back up to how I was,” says Carli.
“Now I’ve accepted that this is where I am. I’m doing the best I can. And I think that’s really important.”
‘I was convinced I had early onset dementia’
Changing her diet and exercise regime is also something Lauren Chiren found useful when she began experiencing perimenopause symptoms like night sweats, anxiety and joint pain at the age of 37, after the birth of her son.
Like Cheney and Carli, the impact on Lauren’s ability to communicate was one of the most concerning and problematic issues, especially as she was in a senior corporate role at the time, which required quick decision making on a daily basis.
“I was convinced I had early onset dementia. I thought I was going to have to go into a home to rock in a corner for the rest of my life and find someone else to bring up my son. And then when I went back to the GP for my blood results, he told me I’d just been through menopause,” says Bristol-based Lauren, now 55.
Read more: 5 of the best forms exercises for perimenopause and beyond
Lauren was put on HRT and found adding more protein and fat to her diet and swapping cardio for weights beneficial, too. Perhaps most significant was how Lauren’s experience of early menopause — knowing little about it and being misunderstood by doctors — shaped her next career move. She quit her banking job 10 years ago to start Women of a Certain Stage, which offers a free course on menopause basics, and trains people to become workplace menopause coaches. She’s also an advocate of menopause education in schools.
“I think it’s absolutely disgusting that women don’t get brought up with this knowledge about how their bodies work and what their options are, because we don’t have to suffer and struggle through menopause,” says Lauren.
“If we know that it’s coming, and we know what the signs and symptoms are, we can avoid the myriad of doubts and concerns and tests and doctor’s appointments, and just not knowing what to do. There’s so much we can do for ourselves when we’re empowered and we can advocate for ourselves.”
