From pressure at work to social media, our lifestyles often prevent us from truly resting. We spoke to some experts to find out why and get some practical tips for how to fix it and prevent burnout.
Not getting enough rest can significantly impact the body’s ability to function. This can cause a range of issues including “a deficit in problem solving, increased muscle tension and fatigue, as well as negatively affecting mood and reducing our ability to process the day’s events”, according to accredited psychotherapist for ARVRA Wellness, Rachael Adams. “In severe cases where someone lives like this for a prolonged period, it can even lead to delirium and confusion.”
We all know that rest is vital to our physical, mental and emotional wellbeing, but sometimes it can be hard to achieve. Psychologist Dr Becky Spelman believes our brains have been conditioned not to prioritise rest. In a study she conducted in partnership with Expedia for their annual Vacation Deprivation report, Dr Spelman found that people are taking less time off work than ever before, often not even taking all their annual leave.
So why is it that so few of us are able to prioritise rest? We spoke with some experts to find out.
Your job is putting pressure on you to overwork
Often, “it comes down to the culture at your job,” says Dr Spelman. “Many companies strive to create a culture that motivates and rewards you for working hard, but this can become toxic.”
In certain industries – like finance for example, where the expectations are often as high as the salaries – people feel obligated to work excessive amounts of overtime. “There’s a sort of hidden message that says because you earn so much money, you’re expected to put up with the stress and poor work-life balance,” Dr Spelman reveals.
High pressure at work often leads to increased levels of stress hormones like cortisol. As well as this impacting the body’s ability to achieve proper sleep, “people who experience high stress tend to report more difficulty ‘switching off’ even when not at work. This negative rumination will also lead to increased feelings of stress, decreased work performance and likely burnout,” says Rachael.
But this culture of overworking is not limited to high-earning roles. In lots of companies across many sectors, there’s a “shaming energy that instils a lot of guilt into people and makes them feel like they’re not working hard enough,” Dr Spelman explains.
As an employer herself, she’s interested in the psychology of motivating people. “You always want your team to feel very involved, included, praised, supported and motivated, but that can mean that people almost become too loyal and forget about themselves.”
You’re ambitious, but to a fault
Whether driven by corporate culture or personal goals, the motivation to excel at work typically fosters a healthy ambition to aim high. However, this constant striving for more can become insidious and unhealthy.
For Gen Z, the most holiday-deprived group among us according to Expedia’s research, this is most destructive. “With more internet and social access than ever, people are exposed to everything they could possibly hope to achieve and the lifestyles they aspire to live,” says Dr Spelman. These lifestyles are often advertised by paid social media influencers portraying skewed representations of reality, leading people to aspire to unattainable goals.
While personal ambition is not inherently negative, “when actions are motivated by fear of failing or comparison to other lifestyles, this can create an unhelpful cycle between our threat and drive systems,” explains Rachael. The consequence of this is that even when we do reach a goal, “we feel very little satisfaction before moving ‘onto the next’.” Rachael attributes this to the elevated stress levels in the body and subsequent burnout associated with not taking time to rest or celebrate successes.
In traditional office jobs that encourage socialising and networking, employees can get FOMO (fear of missing out) at work – a term more often associated with skipping social gatherings. They feel like they might be “missing out on the opportunity to get ahead, climb the rankings and make more money” if they miss work, Dr Spelman explains. So, they end up working overtime, taking on too much work and not taking holiday days.
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The pressure to always be productive
Constant exposure to others’ success combined with the pressure to achieve financial stability and progression at work can make you feel like you must constantly be productive. And if you’re not, you feel like you’re doing something wrong.
Dr Spelman notes: “I don’t see enough people actually being able to relax in waking hours. They feel guilty if they’re on the sofa for even 20 minutes, they need to be on a run or catching up on work emails to feel productive.”
Rachael feels that as a society we’re rewarded for our busy lives and associate busyness with success. “If this is a subconscious thought, then it can feel uncomfortable to pause, as it is in contradiction to assumptions you have about your worth being associated with being busy,” she explains.
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You’re probably living in fight or flight
According to Expedia’s study, 20% of us don’t take holiday days because we’re saving them for unexpected leave and unforeseen circumstances. Dr Spelman asserts that this is likely a symptom of living through the pandemic. “We are all so traumatised by something almost apocalyptic that happened to us that we’re now living in this shared PTSD mindset,” she explains.
To add to this, we’re seeing more natural disasters and unusual events happen than ever before. “We’re living in a fight or flight state,” she continues. “It’s understandable that the brain and the amygdala are fast to fire in this protective mode of looking after us in case something bad happens, but we’re now too sensitive.”
If you’re always expecting that something bad is about to happen, you’ll never be able to rest for fear of being unprepared when the inevitable ‘bad thing’ becomes a reality.
So, how can you achieve proper rest and avoid burnout?
According to Dr Spelman, you first need to need to redefine your priorities and your perception of success. “Success is in your health, your interpersonal relationships, in whether you can form happy, healthy relationships with people and have a satisfying career as well.” Once you’ve done this, you can then work towards establishing clear work boundaries and addressing any guilt around productivity.
Health psychologist Dr Lauren Rockliffe shares these practical tips that will help you prioritise and achieve rest:
- Get intentional about rest
Start scheduling in time for rest. Be clear about when you need downtime and put it in your diary. Committing to this time for yourself will make it more likely to happen.
- Communicate your needs
If making more time to rest is a priority, it’s important that others respect this. Communicate your needs so others know your boundaries. It’s also okay to turn down social activities if you need to relax instead.
- Make a relaxation list
Spend some time thinking about what activities you find calming and relaxing, and write them down. In moments of stress, having a list to refer to can help you think clearly about what might help you feel better.
- Limit your screen time
Try stepping away from your screens and devices. Constant stimulation from screens can prevent your mind from truly relaxing. Commit to having some device-free time each day to give you a break from the constant stream of information and sensory input, promoting a sense of calm and making it easier to unwind.
- Change your environment
If your home doesn’t feel restful, consider alternative settings like a coffee shop, a friend’s house, or a local park. Find a place that feels relaxing and make it a regular part of your routine.
- Immerse yourself in a hobby
Whether it’s reading, doing arts and crafts, or playing sports, dedicating time each week to a hobby can help you disconnect for a while and promote relaxation and rest.
