We speak to This Morning’s relationship expert Michelle Elman to find out how to navigate dating in 2024.
“The only way you get better at dating is by going on date.”
It seems obvious, but the nuances of dating seem to be increasingly complicated as we edge ever deeper into the digital age. And, in the first few months of a new year, a strange and overbearing form of pressure can sometimes creep up on singletons, urging them to make commitments like ‘This year I’ll date more’ or ‘I’ll put myself out there more.’
So, we spoke to dating coach and boundaries expert Michelle Elman to find out how we should be approaching dating this year, and how to ignore that bothersome and unnecessary pressure.
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Master your mentality
Firstly, in order to foster a healthy dating perspective, we need to remove the ‘pass or fail’ mentality.
“We need to stop thinking that, if we don’t get a second date, it’s a failure,” says Michelle. “By simply going on a date and figuring out something new about yourself or what you’re looking for – it’s a win.”
But aren’t we supposed to have high expectations? You would think so, but Michelle says that it’s better to be pleasantly surprised than disappointed.
“If you’re dreading dates, that energy will come across,” she continues. “So, we need to stop expecting every date to lead to our forever love.”
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One small step
Once we’ve adopted this perspective, the coach gives us the all-clear to get going and start dating. But where are we getting to?
Dating in 2024 is not an easy field to navigate, particularly if you’re not a fan of dating apps. And trying to meet new people when you work from home, or when your friends are all in relationships, can feel tiresome. Michelle advises singletons to be unafraid to start conversations with strangers in day-to-day life, whether at work, when socialising or otherwise.
“The trick to meeting people in person is to practice. I don’t believe fun and flirty people are born with it – that side of themselves is just more accessible because they use it more frequently.”
“If you want to get good at meeting people in a bar, then get good at initiating conversations in general. Being a good conversationalist will serve you in more than just your love life.”
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What not to do
Now that we’ve covered dating dos, it’s time to address the no-gos. When it comes to apps, Michelle advises daters to design their profiles carefully.
“Be intentional about what you put on there and stop putting a list of what you don’t want or simply listing your red flags. Instead, outline your green flags.”
It’s also best to avoid putting group photos in your profile, as this can overcomplicate things and make it difficult to work out which one you are.
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Take it easy
Across the board, removing the pressure around dating means taking breaks when you’re no longer feeling it.
“There’s no point going on dates when you’re full of dread,” says Michelle.
“Stop forcing yourself and take some time out to just enjoy being single and the make the most of the freedom that comes with that.”
